North Korean border guards, based in the demilitarised zone (DMZ) between the two Koreas are privately very upset about silencing of K-pop transmissions, emanating from the South. Li Mang Ze (real name withheld) complains: 'We loved the K-pop which pumped out every hour: it helped us get through the day and also fantasise about what life could be like in the night-clubs of Seoul.' The broadcasts have stopped in the interests of peace and harmony between the two Koreas, in advance of talks about to get under way. 'When you're spending your whole day, day after day, making sure your cannons are accurately trained at some specific point in central Seoul, about 50 km away, things get a little boring and the K-pop was a pleasant distraction, especially compared with the puke-worthy martial version of popular music mandated by Chairman Kim', avers Li. 'I bet he personally doesn't listen to any of the so-called inspiring songs he puts out to the people. He's probably tuned into live streaming audio of one of the Seoul pop stations, and jiving in the palace, or wherever he hangs out.' Li and his colleagues lament that they have to pay for this lovey-dovey peace initiative, which no one believes is actually going to lead anywhere. 'I mean what're we gonna do anyway if we stop aiming all our guns at Seoul?' Some enterprising entrepreneurs are making plans to turn the DMZ into a tourist museum where people can wander through the artillery batteries and look through telescopes to see how much of Seoul would have been obliterated in the blink of an eye, in some moment of madness. Muses Li, 'If that happens, I'm outta here...' In the meantime Li, who is also studying for a maths Masters in artillery trajectories, is hoping that any detente, even if only temporary, could lead to him and his mates being able to tune into South Korean soapies, or K-dramas 한국드라마 which are taking the world by storm.
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