Man reaches near-enlightenment with simple things

Shaun Miller, a resident of Warrens, Wisconsin, has nearly achieved enlightenment without even meditating or following the guidance of some guru. Rather he has taken the path of doing lots of small, insignificant, but intensely satisfying things like washing off bird droppings from his car fender after he'd parked it under a tree on a hot summer's day. Says Shaun: "I've found it easier to integrate my ego with its dark side by pursuing simplicity. If I see a loose thread on one of my trainers I immediately reach for a pair of clippers and snip it off. This brings instant joy and a sense of one with the cosmos." A few months ago Miller spotted the sign of a local seamstress and remembered he had long been wanting to repair his favourite pair of Armani jeans, bought over 20 years ago. "When I got those jeans back from Mona I just felt so in harmony with all aspects of my persona." Seamstress Mona Lodsziak commented: "I can't describe the look of joy on Shaun's face when he saw the new hems and pocket linings on that old pair of jeans. I immediately wanted to tap into his secret." For Miller, enlightenment is asymptotic. "Most of us never really quite get there, we only approach. I'm glad this is so because, if I was to reach total nirvana, I'm pretty sure I'd end up an alcoholic or sex addict like many of the great gurus. Ít usually goes to their heads and then they’re undone. I'm happy just being on the cusp." Miller is thinking of writing a book of little things to do, like buying a rack to neatly store your belts, and it's likely that more spiritual travellers will take up Miller's path. “By focusing on the little things you don't have to actually strive for enlightenment”, says Hu Wallace of Hampton, Iowa. “As we all know, once you start striving, enlightenment just slips away."

Would Methuselah have done Death Café?

The old saw is that there are only three sure things in life: death, taxes and your children doing the opposite of what you advise. Taxes you could get around, until the recent Panama Papers leaks, but now the noose is tightening around the tax haven neck. Death, on the other hand, has been given a new lease of life. Huge breakthroughs in artificial intelligence are leading to forecasts of earthlings living well into their 100s in the near future. Of course, this will still be well short of long-lived early humans like Methuselah (lived until age 969), his son Lamech (777) and other famous biblical characters like Noah (950) and Adam (930).  Even so, whether we are to live to 120 or 800, the new restaurant concept, Death Café, is now taking on a life of its own. Nowhere more so than in East London where Meg Southey has just franchised out the third establishment in her Sunshine Coast Death Café chain. People of all ages are flocking to the venues, for an evening of coffee, cake and chat about this formerly taboo subject. Avers biker Mandy Venter, a regular visitor, 'It's awesome. It's not like some coffee klatch or baby shower, it's real life and death stuff. You can get an adrenalin charge just contemplating your own demise.' Already a new range of Death Café merchandise has found its way into supermarkets. Peter Williams from Nahoon says: 'Originally, I started with black balloons, skull-shaped cookies and grim reaper pointy hats on a barrow at a street market but it's caught on so fast I now have orders from some of the big chains, like Doves.' It's a moot point as to whether any of the likes of Methuselah would have displayed interest in a Death Café until well into their 700s or even 800s but the current generation is determined to join the fun while it can. As for children, they will only go to a Death Café if you order them not to.

Cape Town's bergies get upgrade

Cape Town's so-called 'bergies' are to get an upgrade. The name, stemming from the Afrikaans word for mountain, refers to the colourful tramps and beggars who roam the city's streets but often sleep out in the open on the eye-catching slopes of the fabled Table Mountain looming over the city. Cape Town's natural beauty has attracted hordes of tourists from Europe and China, with an additional boost coming from the sharp decline in the SA rand exchange rate. The local tourist bureau is increasingly concerned that the presence of poorly turned out bergies is lowering the tone of the city, especially for foreigners on package tours. Councillor Ben vd Merck has come up with a brainwave: ''If we put sunglasses on the bergies they will instantly appear much cooler. Down and outs wearing designer-wear can blend more easily into the style package Cape Town is offering on the world tourism stage." Polaroid, the international sunglass brand business based in Minnetonka, Minnesota has now agreed to supply its cool range of shades to selected bergies as a pilot project. The city will then carry out a survey of tourists to determine reactions. Gene Walker, a visitor to the trendy Cape Town Waterfront from Hartlepool, commented: "Why draw the line at sunglasses? For one thing, they're not much use at night, when many bergies are on show. I'm sure a company like Adidas or New Balance could be approached to supply a line of designer track shoes. The bergies' attitude towards tourists would improve immeasurably if they could replace their threadbare shoes with a Nike swoosh." There's already a precedent for this. It's no secret that local bin cleaners have been seen carrying the kit-bags of a top local school, Bishops, on their backs. Although the school has denied it, there are claims that it has deliberately distributed these in order to downplay accusations of elitism - a burden the school has borne almost since it was founded in the 1800s.